40+, the age of intention

Getting older doesn’t subtract possibilities: it filters. 40+ as the age of intention: we stop dressing to become someone and start doing it to recognise ourselves.

I don’t remember turning 40 and waking up the next day as a different woman.

That border does not exist.

Our taste, our body, our way of dressing and what we want from life do not suddenly change.

And yet, something does begin to happen.

We start to select.

With more clarity.

With less patience for what no longer interests us.

And perhaps with far less need to explain our decisions.

That is why it bothers me so much when 40 is talked about as the start of a long list of prohibitions.

Which skirt we should no longer wear.

What length is appropriate.

Which colours age us.

What make-up we should give up.

Which part of the body is best hidden.

I don’t believe getting older obliges us to become discreetly invisible.

I believe exactly the opposite should happen.

With the years we have the chance to know ourselves well enough to choose with far more freedom.

You can wear a miniskirt.

You can wear a masculine suit.

You can dress entirely in black or show up in an extraordinary colour.

You can wear big glasses, important jewellery, impossible shoes or an impeccable white shirt.

Age does not decide that.

The way you carry it does.

What is interesting about this stage is not that we learn new rules.

It is that we start to discover which ones we no longer need.

Perhaps we have bought enough clothes we never wore.

Tried enough trends that did not represent us.

Accepted enough opinions about our body.

Kept enough things out of obligation.

And there comes a moment when we want something else.

Less noise.

More intention.

The same happens with beauty.

Not because we stop wanting to look good.

Quite the opposite.

But perhaps we start to wonder for whom we were trying to resemble a younger version of ourselves.

Our face changes.

Our body changes.

Our energy changes.

And our image can change too, without becoming a battle against time.

Personally, I’m far more interested in an interesting woman than in one determined to look eternally young.

The first has history.

Decisions.

Contradictions.

Humour.

Presence.

And that cannot be bought in a bottle.

There is also something extraordinary that comes with experience: we begin to understand that sophistication and excess are not synonyms.

That we can buy less and choose better.

That we don’t need to fill our wardrobe to have style.

That a good perfume can be part of our identity.

That our home represents us too.

That caring for ourselves should not mean living intent on correcting ourselves.

And that saying “this is not for me” can be one of the most elegant decisions we make.

That is why I like to speak of 40+ as the age of intention.

Not because we didn’t have it before.

But because, with time, we begin to understand its value.

We know better where we want to be.

Who we want close.

What we want to wear.

What we want to keep.

And also what we are perfectly willing to let go.

Getting older does not subtract possibilities.

It filters.

And when we learn to choose from there, something very interesting happens:

we stop dressing, buying or caring for ourselves to become someone.

We start doing it to recognise ourselves.

The years should not shrink your style. They should sharpen your choice.